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Top 7 Ways to Communicate Effectively
By Pablo Golub
According
to Dale Carnegie, author of the book How to Win Friends and Influence
People, 85% of success on the job is due to one’s ability to lead people
and personality. Only 15% of success is due to one’s technical
knowledge (18). Therefore, the ability to communicate with people is
vital from engineering to business, and is essential in increasing your
success tremendously. For this reason, having proper communication
skills is not something you should leave to chance in your business
career, as well as in your personal life. So following are seven
ways/tips that will help you to succeed in communicating with others.
- Have self-worth
Self-worth is analogous to self-confidence. The better
you feel about yourself (i.e. the more you think you’re worth), the more
confident you’re going to be. With self-worth, you can get what you
want out of every conversation. Without self-worth you’ll be stuck in
small-talk. In order to get what you want out of a conversation, you
must give the other person a chance to believe that you’re worthy of
their time and effort.
- Get interested in other people
People have two stations which other people can listen to, WIFM (what’s in it for me) and WIFO (what’s in it for others). WIFM
is boring for people to listen to. Most people are interested in
themselves. People want to be flattered, and you can do this by letting
the other person talk about him or herself, by changing the channel to
WIFO.
By changing the channel to WIFO, you have just led the
person to feeling good about themselves. Since you were the one who made
them feel good about themselves, they will be indebted to you and will
want to pay you back by helping you out with what you wanted them to do
for you.
- Open up a person’s heart
You can do this five different ways…
(1)
Ask open-ended questions that really get the other person talking a
lot. How was your day/weekend/week? What are your hobbies? What do you
think of this town? If there is one wish you could wish for, what would
it be? The last one might really get them thinking. Don’t limit yourself
to just talking about the weather. Ask questions that make them think,
that they would be interested in answering, as they feel good about
themselves sharing their life with someone. In this case, you! Warning:
Don’t just shoot many questions in a row without sharing a little bit
about yourself. Doing this may make them feel uncomfortable, as they
think you’re like a police officer or detective trying to solve a
crime.
(2)
Compliment them! However, be specific; don’t just say you look nice.
That doesn’t mean anything, but if you say, “you have a beautiful dress,
it really compliments your skin color,” then you have a genuine
compliment.
(3) Ask a person’s name when you first meet them and remember it. From then on, address them by their name at all times.
4) Smile, you can never smile too much.
5) Have a good sense of humor.(for jokes follow www.anupdajokes.blogspot.com)
4. Listen at least two times more than you talk
You
have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Therefore, you should listen
twice as much as you speak. To show that you’re listening effectively,
you must ask follow-up questions. A follow-up question shows the other
person that you’re listening, and perhaps equally important extends the
length of the conversation in a good way. For example, somebody tells
you they love to hike. Ask, why do you like to hike? What is it like to
hike? I was interested in hiking; could you give me some basic advice on
hiking? By showing you listen, and by extending the conversation, you
really open up a person’s heart.
5. Diversify yourself
Learn
about sports, dancing, even television shows, etc. This gives you
subjects to talk about, as well as chances to meet new people. In cases
such as dancing, where you meet people as you perform the activity,
you’re actually killing two birds with one stone. You get the chance to
meet new people, plus the chance to diversify yourself, as well. It also
gives you status, essential for getting the most out of any
conversation. For people are more attracted to somebody who is
diversified, and has a lot to talk about. Being diversified is an
important commodity for anyone to have.
6. Understand that your worth never changes
Follow
along…In my hand I am holding a check for a million dollars. I crumble
it up. It’s still worth a million dollars. I step on it, it’s still
worth a million dollars, I start rubbing it on the floor with my shoe,
and it’s still worth a million dollars. You are worth a lot more than a
million dollars. In fact, your worth is immeasurable. Therefore, there
is no such thing as ‘rejection’ as you’re always worth the same no
matter what. Nobody can reject you because nobody can change your worth.
Moreover, don’t be afraid of something (rejection) that doesn’t exist.
Take risks, ask for what you want, and eventually you will get what you
want.
7. Follow the step-ladder to success
Imagine
wanting to become the heavyweight champion of the world. First you have
to beat, the lower-ranked fighters, then the contenders, and then
finally rise up to face the champ. In order to face the champ you have
to take those three steps in the order stated in the previous sentence.
If you would try to face the champ before the contenders/lower ranked
fighters, you’ll be “too green,” or immature as a fighter in order to be
able to hurt the champion. Follow these steps in order (i.e.
lower-ranked fighters, contenders, and champion), you won’t be
guaranteed success but you’ll give yourself your best chance. Same goes
with conversational skills. First you have to approach your second or
third choice of date, before you’re able to gain the courage to face the
‘champion,’ your top choice date. You have to first be able to interact
with fellow employees, and lower-level managers, before you can learn
to deal with the CEO. Again, just like in boxing, you won’t be
guaranteed success, but you’ll give yourself your best shot.
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